Design Your Own 1-Day Prayer Retreat
Invite Soul-Friends: When Two or More are Gathered...
{ praying the psalms together at our 2025 contemplative prayer retreat }
The Intimacy of Praying Together
What if you used your own creative mind to ‘love your neighbor’ by planning a prayer gathering of spiritually-minded friends?
I’ve been leading prayer retreats and pilgrimages for groups of women for many years. We visit holy monasteries, travel through Greece, or join together at my small farm in Oregon. A rare kind of connection always happens when people set aside the time, the mental space, and bring their open hearts to share with others.
Our Contemplative Prayer Retreat last weekend was a quieting … connecting … joyful span of time for the seven women who were here to feed their souls together during this time set apart.
We prayed together, shared meals, practiced silence, and listened to one another speak about our spiritual lives. Telling our stories honestly can be a healing act, and propel us forward on our interior path.
How often have you been listened to, when speaking about your journey of faith? How many times have you honestly revealed the roadblocks and breakthrough moments of your prayer life with like-minded women? Speaking about prayer with a few soul-friends has its own kind of intimacy that is often hard to come by.
Offer Hospitality, not Perfection
Leading a prayer gathering is so simple. So do-able. Why not give it a try, yourself? I like to think of inviting people over as ‘hospitality’, not as ‘entertaining’. It’s a way to serve others, and receive blessings at the same time.
Melanie Wolf is the publisher of Saint Gavrilia: Ascetic of Love. Saint Gavrilia served people wherever she went around the world, with love, love and only love.
In Melanie’s genius little book, Draw a Circle (Not a Line), she warns against letting your own pride stand in the way of loving others through hospitality. She advises,
Don’t wander down the unhappy path of seeking perfection. Instead, consider creating a sense of oneness with your guests by offering hospitality that is anchored in the only perfection there really is: God’s love. Depending on your belief system, you could also think of this as ”the spirit of love,” or the universal love that the ancient Greeks called agape. Whatever we call it, all-embracing love is at the very heart of hospitality.1
There are a million ways to host a spiritual gathering. Below, I share with you a condensed 1-day version of prayer retreats I have organized.
As leader, your creative mind will naturally tailor this to your own small group. In your invitations, don’t be afraid to ask everyone to participate by bringing a prayer they love, a story, or something for everyone to nibble or sip.
Here’s the recipe:
8:30 am Friends arrive at your house, beach rental, or public park
9:00 Morning Prayers (I lead with this prayer card) said together or in turns
9:30 Simple breakfast with directed discussion: ‘Why are you here?’
10:30 Psalmody prayers: circle blankets outside, leader reads one psalm slowly
11:00 Free time / conversation
12:30 Silent monastic trapeza lunch: spiritual reading chosen by leader
1:30 Contemplative walking: slowly repeating a short prayer or sacred word
2:00 Great Silence: each person keeps walking, or sits solo to read, pray, rest
3:00 Gather for prayer, directed by leader or a prayer each person brings
3:30 Discussion: ‘What is working / needs work in your prayer life?’
5:00 Free time / conversation / prepare dinner together
6:30 Dinner with directed discussion: ‘What is your aspiration to take away?’
8:30 End retreat with evening prayer, depart in peace
You can do this
Of course, you can adapt this ‘recipe’ to your own way of sharing space. You can offer this gift of spiritual hospitality to a few friends, or share leadership with predetermined roles for each of you to divide as you feel comfortable.
Priya Parker writes, in her inspiring book, The Art of Gathering, elevates her guests into the role of participants,
Ask your guests to do something instead of bring something … asking guests to contribute to a gathering ahead of time changes their perception of it. 2
In this age of disconnection, what could be more lovely than connecting with your hearts and souls, with words and in stillness, together?
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Q: Have you ever been on a Spiritual Retreat? What do you remember?
Spark: Plan an informal Retreat for one or more spiritual friends. {let me know if you have any questions … tell me how your retreat unfolded!}
References:
Melanie Wolf, Draw a Circle, Not a Line. (Sea Salt Books, 2022), 12.
Priya Parker, The Art of Gathering: How we Meet and Why it Matters. (Riverhead Books, 2018), 152-3.